Many ex-boyfriends contact their ex-partners years later. They become curious or homesick and communicate through text messages, phone calls, or social media.
By communicating, they determine if their ex hates, likes, loves, respects, or is neutral with them.
and youYour ex contacted you during the no contact periodYears after the breakup, you are faced with an important decision. You can make friends with your ex, an acquaintance who talks to an ex from time to time, or you can ask your ex to stay away and move on.
What you choose should depend on:
- if you think your ex can be a good friend
- how much emotional progress you have made since the breakup
- And how much respect do you have for your ex?
If you still have feelings for your ex, it doesn't mean you should talk to him and get your hopes up. Ex-boyfriends don't always want to get back together after making contact. They mostly just want to talk and be friends.
While your ex may want you back, it's much more likely that he or she just wants you back.find out how you feel about him/herand testlearn what you did.
I know it can be tempting to talk to your ex and convince him that you have changed, matured, and matured.Become a better version of yourself, but that's not what ex-boyfriends are looking for after years. Dumpers just don't care if you've moved on or not because when they come they have no expectations of you and they still see you the same way they did before the breakup.
Only ex-boyfriends who haven't spoken in 5 years or more sometimes start to change their minds about their ex. But they only do it when they still have some respect for their ex, when they see that her ex has grown a lot in her absence, or when they hurt each other.
In today's article, we discuss why an ex would contact you years after the breakup and how to respond to certain contacts.
What does it mean when an ex contacts you years later?
When an ex contacts you years after the breakup, your ex wants something from you. That something may not be what you expected, but it is something that only you have.
Usually this is information like:
- What have you been doing
- How are you
- when you go out
- how is your family (not to be confused with a detour to break the ice)
- What are your plans for the future?
- how you perceive and feel your ex
But sometimes, talking to your ex can also give you the chance to:
- alleviate the guilt
- make friends with you
- get a favor from you
- back to you
- or express regret and romantic feelings
When your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend contacts you years later, your ex finally gets over the anger, disgust, contempt, or suffocation caused by unhealthy perceptions and agrees to talk to you. Therefore, he or she breaksno contact rulesthat he or she has followed religiously and is giving some of your power back to you.
Your ex may not want you back, but if it takes years for them to get in touch with you, you may realize that your ex has been thinking about you for a long time, changed some opinions about you, and worked up the courage to contact you. with you. that you connect .
Your ex was probably worried about contacting you after so many years, but because your ex was curious about you or needed a favor or something else from you, he or she contacted you anyway. Knowing why your ex approached you after so many years is essential to know what you can do with them.
How do I know why my ex contacted me after years?
Until you know about your ex, you probably won't know what he wants from you. You may wonder if your ex wants to talk about random things or discuss something important.
My advice is to not get too distracted by what your ex is saying and instead look at the things they are asking or expecting of you. Your questions, requests or demands, as well as your ex's approach and attitude, will quickly reveal why your ex contacted you after so many years.
They will show if yourex wants to keep you aroundfor convenience or if your ex has more altruistic plans for you.
The best way to find out is to ask your ex a few questions. I'm not talking about questions about your ex's life, I'm talking about his reasons for getting closer. It might seem a bit strange to ask your ex this, but don't worry.
When you've been evicted and forced to leaveno contact with your exIt's perfectly fine to ask your ex this question.
Just ask, "Why did you come to me after all this time?" Your ex will probably be speechless at first, but soon he will tell you the truth or half the truth.
Your ex might say:
- I wanted to see you and see how you are.This would mean that your ex is curious about you and possibly evenI felt guilty for hurting you. Usually, a concerned ex will reach out soon after the breakup and offer to help in any way he can. Dumpsters who apologize after years usually do so becausethey are hit by karma.
- I found your diary and thought you might want it back.This would indicate that your ex used an item of interest to communicate with you and talk to you. The easiest way for quitters to casually approach their quitters is to tell them something that interests them. In this way, they offer their ex-boyfriends to give them something even if they intend to get something out of it.
- I saw that you got married, congratulations!Dumpers often praise their dumpers or wish them luck to show that they have no hard feelings towards them. You can just thank your ex andreturn to no contact.
- Your ex can also be very direct and say: "It's been years since we spoke. I reached out to see if it's possible to be friends now. You want this?"In that case, take your time.decide if you want to be friends with your ex.
When you get an answer to the question "Why did you contact?", you can find out if your ex is serious by paying attention to his attitude. Watch him talk to you and see how long it takes for your ex to lose interest and stop talking.
If your ex talks nice to you for a while and then doesn't talk to you for weeks, it could mean that your ex got what he wanted. It could mean that your ex has received forgiveness or validation, or that she has satisfied her curiosity.
But if your ex keeps texting you afterwards and shows great interest in you in one way or another, thenYour ex probably wants to be friendsor work up the courage to ask him again.
You have to be careful that you don't misinterpret your ex's behavior and get cheated on and hurt.
What to do when an ex contacts you years later
When you get a text or call from an ex years after the breakup, the first thing to do is find out why your ex contacted you. Once you know why he or she reached out, you can decide if talking to your ex is a good idea.
So find out first what your ex wants from you and second what you can get from him. For example, if your ex doesn't want to be friends with you, obviously you can't be friends with him. You have to settle for much less.
For something your ex really wants.
You have to keep in mind that your ex (the one who gives the tip) decides what kind of relationship is possible. He or she controls everything to the point where it indicates a certain type of relationship.
What does that mean for you?
This means that you should wait for your ex to tell you or show you what he wants. When your ex finally does, you will quickly regain your strength and be able to say whatever you want. You will set your own pace and see if your ex agrees.
Until that happens, do nothing. You don't set the pace, criticize your ex, or talk about the breakup. Just sit back and wait for your ex to reveal what she wants.
There is no general advice on what to do if your ex contacts you after years. But here's what to consider when finding your ex:
- I want you back.If you have feelings for your ex and want them back, agree to let them come back on a trial period. Your ex needs to show that he is capable of changing and committing to you. However, if you don't want your ex back, tell him you're over the past and wish him the best.
- want to be friendsWhen you're ready to befriend your ex, you can accept the friendship and see if he wants to be your friend or just wants your forgiveness. But if you're still grieving from the loss of your relationship or if you don't respect your ex enough to be friends, politely say that you're not interested in friendship right now and that you'll let your ex know if you change your mind.
- Talk to you and disappear.is calledbreadcrumbs. It's when an ex reaches out just to get something from you and then disappears. An ex can disappear forIgnorarteor end the conversation and not continue in contact afterwards.
- He wants your help with something.If your ex wants something from you, he will tell you directly or indirectly. Know that you don't have to do your ex any favors unless you want to get over the breakup. It's your choice.
- Gets mad at you or threatens you.In this particular case, you don't need to talk to your ex. You probably shouldn't do this until your ex settles down and respects you.
In short, here are 7 things to do when an ex contacts you years later.
Do ex-boyfriends come back years later?
Some break up with their partner, enjoy life, meet other people for a while, and then discover that they are not happy. These goofballs are often homesick, hurt, and depressed, so they reach out to an ex they used to be close with andrun sometimesfaster than a greased screw.
they do what is necessaryreconnect with an exbecause their ex can make them feel better. He or she can take away your pain and sadness and give you what you need to feel safe and comfortable.
Then yes,the ex boyfriends are backyears after the breakup.They return because their lives are not going according to plan., so they remember their ex and use them as a backup plan.
Of course, as a jerk, you don't have to stick to your ex's backup plan forever. When the dumper sees your worth, he can learn to respect you again and make you the most valuable person in his life.
But for that to happen, your ex needs to cry and change his mind about you. If your ex is just grieving and impulsively coming back to you, he may not be thinking hard enough to figure out your value. Your ex could come back to heal your wounds and take you for granted again.
Sobefore you get your ex back, make sure your ex wants you for you and not just because your ex can benefit from you and trust you emotionally.
What do you plan to do now that your ex has contacted you? Do you want to look for a relationship, friendship, acquaintance or do you not want to talk to your ex? Let me know what your plans are in the comments below.
If you're looking for one-on-one help for your ex, check out ours, too.training page.
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