What to do if your partner does not want to be intimate: 10 tips (2023)

What to do if your partner does not want to be intimate: 10 tips (1)

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For a good number of people, intimacy is a crucial aspect of a relationship, but what do you do when your partner doesn't want to be intimate? This is a dilemma that many couples face.

While a sexless relationship is unimaginable, a dwindling sex life can leave people feeling less than desirable. Whether the wife or husband avoids intimacy, the other person in the relationship may feel insecure and dissatisfied.

Intimacy and sex can mean different things to different people. Still, maintaining a certain level of intimacy within a relationship is important to keep it strong and healthy. People who speculate about "my partner never wants sex" may need to dig deeper.

How important is intimacy in a relationship?

Intimacy is important to any relationship, and this is not just a layman's assumption. Several studies have been conducted to understand To dieRole of sex in an intimate relationship. While sex certainlyphysical and psychological benefits, can have a significant impact on marriage and relationships.

Sex improves relationship satisfaction and providesphysical benefitssuch as lower blood pressure and less stress. In a relationship, sex helps release the hormone oxytocin, which strengthens the couple's bond and overall well-being.

Sexual activity also helps couplesfeel close to each otherand it can also encourage ways of being intimate without being physical. When a couple is not intimate, the other person may feel distant.

People are hardwired to want to be intimate with their partner, and for most, that might mean wanting to have sex. Hehave a sexin a relationship can cause partners to drift apart and in some cases can lead to infidelity.

If your partner doesn't want to have sex, it doesn't mean that the two of you are looking elsewhere. Instead, it could be an opportunity for the two of you to figure out how to rekindle the flame.

Why doesn't your partner want sex?

Not wanting to have sex doesn't mean your partner doesn't want you. Rather, other life stressors can also affect a person's libido. So what could be the reason why your partner doesn't want to be sexually intimate?

(Video) 10 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Love You (Even If You Think They Do)

So, before thinking about what to do when your partner doesn't want intimacy, consider why he doesn't want intimacy. "My partner doesn't want sex" may have an underlining problem.

1. Stress

A demanding job, rapidly approaching deadlines, and a fast-paced work life in general make people prone to stress. When a person is stressed, their sexual libido naturally decreases and they may not want to be intimate as often.

When intimacy stagnates in a relationship, it can also be a warning sign of your partner's declining mental health.

Related reading: 10 Ways to Have Stress-Reducing Conversations with Your Partner

2. Medicines

Medications can also be a reason why your partner doesn't want to be intimate. Different types of medications have different side effects, one of which can be decreased libido. If your partner has recently taken medication, this could be considered a cause.

3rd birth

Why doesn't your partner want to be intimate? Perhaps because they are recovering. Pregnancy and childbirth can seriously affect a couple's mental and physical health. Once a couple becomes parents, life can get more hectic.

When parents are busy, sex life can be suspended for some time. In such cases, husbands may wonder why "my wife doesn't want me sexually."

Honestly, if your husband or wife avoids intimacy, the reason may be more complicated than the fact that your wife doesn't find it desirable. Childbirth is a crucial process and the consequences can be difficult for both men and women.

What to do if your partner does not want to be intimate: 10 tips (2)

4. Past infidelity

It's important to understand your partner's background. If they've been cheated on in the past or been with someone who secretly engaged in sexual behavior outside of the relationship, they could have serious trust issues. Such experiences can make it difficult for them to become intimate later on.

Related reading: How to survive infidelity: 21 effective ways

5. Erectile Dysfunction

erectile dysfunctionit is quite common, but rarely spoken. Instead of feeling unwanted and wondering what to do when your man doesn't want you sexually, you might want to understand ifErectile dysfunction can be the cause.

You might be wondering why he won't have sex with me, but the answer may never be clear to you until he admits it. Don't assume your partner is someone who doesn't like sex.

In most cases, men can avoid becoming intimate, instead confiding their dilemmas to their partners. This can make the other person wonder why I want sex but my partner doesn't.

(Video) Sexual Rejection

6. Past sexual abuse

If your partner has experiencedsexual abusein the past, this can greatly affect your willingness to be intimate with your partners. It can also be difficult for your partner to talk about the abuse you've suffered and how it's affecting your libido.

7. Financial problems

Nothing can stress a person like financial problems.

In times of uncertainty, financial worries can mount and make a person feel stressed and anxious. This, of course, can dampen their interest in sex and cause them to spend more time at work or budgeting. This may not leave much room to get intimate with your partner.

8. Configuration

Everyone has different preferences when it comes to sex and intimacy. Some prefer conventional methods, others are more adventurous. The answer to that isn't always learning sex tricks to keep her interested. Instead, you should strive to have honest conversations about your preferences.

What to do if your partner does not want to be intimate: 10 tips (3)

9. Sexual complaints

Feeling physically uncomfortable during sex can be common for both women and men. A certain type and level of pain experienced during sexual intimacy can reduce a person's interest in sex and cause them to actively avoid sex.

Related reading: 6 signs of sexual repression that may be affecting your sex life

10. Religious Beliefs

For some people, the desire not to have sex can stem from religious or personal beliefs. Although some people don't believe they are religious, the ideas that have been instilled in them may subconsciously make them not want to be intimate.

Either way, it's best to learn more about what your partner believes about sex and intimacy.

10 Things to Do When Your Partner Doesn't Want to Be Intimate

Regardless of why sexual intimacy is waning in your relationship, it's important to know what to do when your partner doesn't want intimacy to ensure it doesn't negatively affect your relationship.

1. Say it out loud

The first step to combating problems in a relationship is to be open with your partner. FORhonest talkTalking about your needs and concerns can go a long way toward helping members feel better. This helps bring issues to the surface and allows the two of you to work on fixing them.

Related reading: How to talk to your crush and get him to like you again

Do you hesitate to talk about sex with your partner? Look at this video:
What to do if your partner does not want to be intimate: 10 tips (4)

2. Professional advice

In some cases, a simple conversation may not be enough to resolve intimacy issues. If you feel that being open and honest about your concerns isn't going to do much to avoid problems, seeing a professional therapist might be a good option. there are severalcouples counselingOptions available today.

(Video) The Real Reason Why So Many Women Avoid Intimacy With Their Husband.

3. Discuss what you like and dislike

What to do if your partner doesn't want to be intimate Talk to him about what he wants and doesn't want.

Couples can have different preferences, which helpsmaintain an interesting relationship. But it's important to discuss what you like and don't like about a relationship to make sure you and your partner are on the same page.

4. No blame game

When it comes to discussing relationship issues, stress can cause partners to play the blame game. Before you decide to discuss the reason for your intimacy issues, remember not to blame your spouse and add to the tension. You must work to resolve the issue.

Related reading: How to stop the blame game in your relationship

5. Try non-sexual intimacy

Being intimate mostly means having sex, but that's not always true.

Trying non-sexual ways to be intimate and spending time together can help both of you strengthen your bond. Investing time in a relationship means you need to understand whether you want to be sexual or not.intimacy with your partner.

What to do if your partner does not want to be intimate: 10 tips (5)

6. Discuss the frequency

Some people want to be intimate with their partner more often than others. If you're trying to discuss issues in your sex life, make sure you have common ground for expectations.

Discuss how often you would like to have sex with your partner and ask if he feels the same way. In some cases, it may be necessary to find a compromise to ensure that both parties are satisfied.

7. Remember consent

Being in a relationship does not mean that consent is implied.

Consent is the key! It's important to know and accept when your partner doesn't want to have sex, rather than trying to convince them to be intimate just because you want to. Sometimes your partner may feel that you are forcing them to have sex.

Then,respect your consentand keep the conversation light so your partner feels comfortable.

8. Define intimacy

It's important to understand what intimacy means to you and your partner. What you consider a lack of intimacy may not seem so to your partner. Therefore, it is crucial to talk about intimacy and your expectations.

(Video) 9 Ways to Handle A Cold And Distant Spouse

Related reading: What is Intimacy and 12 Types of Intimacy in a Relationship

9. Watching adult movies

Sometimes it can feel daunting to start a conversation with your partner about your sex life. In such cases, you can start by watching a sexy movie with your partner and then try to start a conversation about it. This can help the discussion flow more naturally and not seem confrontational.

10. Respect

Respect is vital in any relationship and must come from both sides. Make sure you respect your partner's decisions, but also make sure you feel respected. When discussing problems, both of you need to listen carefully to understand what the problem is.

Related reading: 10 reasons why respect is important in a relationship

Tips for improving intimacy in relationships

during aopen conversationIt is always preferable to resolve intimacy issues, there may be other ways to encourage your partner about sex. You can start with something simple andsweet gestureslike hugging and holding hands.

take some timeregularly just the two of you and make the most of it. Strengthenemotional connectionthrough deep conversations about life and happiness. Emotional bonding often gives way to physical intimacy between a couple.

You might also consider renting them out.sexual tensionthrough constructionloving touchesYerotic jokes. Sometimes you just dress up for her for no particular reason and convey your desire for closeness.

Related reading: How important is intimacy in a relationship?

A few more points to discuss

Intimacy is about the equation you share with your partner and work on it when necessary. Do you have more privacy questions? Let's see what else we can discuss about a healthy sex routine in a relationship.

Can there be a relationship without intimacy?

There is no denying the fact that people can have a fulfilling marriage or love life without sex. A happy relationship largely comes down to how happy you are with your partner and how willing you both are to keep it.

So the answer here is yes. While a relationship can survive without intimacy, you cannot guarantee the elements that are present in one.sexually active relationship. There is also the possibility of further resentment and resentment from one or both partners.

To some extent, not having sex in a relationship means any reason you can think of as a reason for it and finding a practical solution for it.

What does not cause intimacy?

As discussed above, there can be any number of reasons for a lack of intimacy in a relationship. Stress and financial worries take up a lot of space in our minds, leaving little room for personal commitments.

Physical issues and medications are also worth considering here. Low libido can go hand in hand with declining health and an overworked mind. It may seem like your partner isn't interested in being intimate, but that can't be the reason.

there is always a solution

Intimacy is important in a relationship. There's no doubt about it!

(Video) What to do when your #partner doesn't want to be #intimate 🚼

However, the cause of a dwindling sex life is more than your partner not wanting to have sex. To understand why a relationship has little or no intimacy and what to do when your partner doesn't want intimacy, you can have an open conversation.

You should also consider what you want from your relationship and try to find your partner somewhere in between. Not everyone will have the same expectations and desires. Often, a happy and fulfilling relationship requires a little adjustment on both sides.


How do I deal with my partner not wanting to be intimate? ›

What to do if your partner doesn't want to have sex
  1. What if we used to have sex, but now we don't? ...
  2. Talk to them. ...
  3. Discuss what's going on in their life. ...
  4. Respect their boundaries. ...
  5. Try to come up with some alternatives. ...
  6. Make time to be intimate in other ways. ...
  7. Let them know you're there for them. ...
  8. Speak to a professional.

Is it normal to not want to be intimate with your partner? ›

Remember that it's absolutely fine to refuse to have sex with your partner at any time, for any reason. You are never obligated to have sex with someone. If you feel forced or pressured into having sex, it may be this unhealthy relationship that's causing your low libido.

How do you deal with lack of intimacy? ›

How to cope with a sexless marriage
  1. Pick your moment to talk. ...
  2. Pick your moment to listen. ...
  3. Be honest with yourself and each other. ...
  4. Decide whether sex is a deal-breaker for either of you. ...
  5. Be patient. ...
  6. Seek help together. ...
  7. Kindness is sexy. ...
  8. Ban sex.
Sep 24, 2016

What does lack of intimacy look like? ›

What Is A Lack Of Emotional Intimacy? Relationships that lack emotional intimacy are characterized by feelings of isolation, disconnection, and a lack of emotional safety. Even though there's time spent together, there's no real emotional connection or understanding between you.

What is considered lack of intimacy? ›

For example, talking to a partner excessively about work, being away from home, having little time or energy after working long hours, or work interfering in 'personal time' (like checking work emails in bed) can all contribute to a lack of intimacy in a relationship.

Can a relationship work if there is no intimacy? ›

While a relationship can survive without intimacy, it can become a struggle for both of you. Over time, you may feel unhappy and insecure. Counselling Directory explains more about what happens when one partner is more intimate, how a lack of intimacy can affect your relationship, and how to improve intimacy.

What does lack of intimacy do to a woman? ›

The lack of physical touch, emotional connection, and sexual intimacy can lead to feelings of loneliness, depression, and low self-esteem. It can also cause physical symptoms such as headaches, insomnia, and decreased libido.

Is a relationship over if there is no intimacy? ›

A marriage or relationship without emotional intimacy can lead to feelings of rejection, sadness, hurt, disappointment, frustration and anger. These feelings in themselves can become a barrier to building and maintaining a loving, satisfying intimate physical relationship.

What causes low intimacy? ›

Stress, such as financial stress or work stress. Poor body image. Low self-esteem. History of physical or sexual abuse.

What are the 4 levels of intimacy? ›

In relationships, four types of intimacy are key: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual.

What are the 5 levels of intimacy? ›

The Five Types of Intimacy
  • Physical Intimacy. Most people are familiar with physical intimacy or think it's the only kind of intimacy. ...
  • Emotional Intimacy. ...
  • Intellectual Intimacy. ...
  • Spiritual Intimacy. ...
  • Social Intimacy.
Nov 11, 2022

Can you fall out of love due to lack of intimacy? ›

Falling out of love usually means your relationship is lacking in intimacy. It's hard to define exactly what falling out of love feels like, but it's usually characterized by actions (or lack thereof) that detract from intimacy in a relationship.

How long is too long to go without intimacy? ›

There is no set number for how often you and your partner should have sex. Plenty of couples are content with sex once a month while other couples prefer once a week. Keep communication open and don't be afraid to try something new, like scheduling time for sex, to give your sex life a little boost.

What blocks intimacy? ›

Rather, it's more often an issue that stems from an inability to feel vulnerable. People who have a fear of intimacy may have experienced neglect, trauma, or abuse in their past that prevents them from fully opening up to and trusting others, especially in an intimate relationship.

What does it mean when your partner doesn t want to be intimate anymore? ›

Some of the most common underlying issues include work stress, life stressors, physical exhaustion, mental fatigue, emotional exhaustion, physical health issues, unresolved relationship concerns, and emotional or physical infidelity," she concludes.

What causes lack of intimacy in a relationship? ›

conflict– if there is ongoing conflict in your relationship, it can be difficult to develop intimacy. It is not easy to feel close to someone you are arguing with. Anger, hurt, resentment, lack of trust, or a sense of being unappreciated can all affect intimacy.

Should I break up over lack of intimacy? ›

But whether the lack of sex breaks you up or not, the choice is between you and your partner. A romantic, fulfilling relationship is not defined by sex unless you want it to be. “If you have enough else in your relationship that works for you, lack of sex won't destroy you,” Lancaster says.

What are the 4 types of intimacy? ›

In relationships, four types of intimacy are key: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. If you feel you fear intimacy of any type, or your loved one does, seeking the support of a therapist may help you.

What happens when intimacy is missing? ›

Often, the lack of intimacy is the reason partners feel emotionally abandoned and lose interest or desire for sex leading to "inhibited sexual desire." The fear of intimacy can cause partners to be emotionally unavailable and lead to an endless dance of pursuit and distancing.


1. My Wife Doesn't Want To Be Intimate Anymore | Paul Friedman
(The Marriage Foundation)
2. 5 Mistakes Men Make When a Woman Doesn't Want Intimacy!
(Apollonia Ponti)
3. Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Be Intimate?
(Coach Corey Wayne)
4. The Sex-Starved Relationship
(The School of Life)
5. The 5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over
(Mel Robbins)
6. Who Initiates Sex and why it Matters so Much
(The School of Life)


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