19 Signs Your Husband Doesn't Like You - The Narcissistic Life (2023)

Last updated May 30, 2022 byAlexander Major

Happy marriages require a mutual level of respect and care.

So when your man doesn't like you, it can feel like you're constantly second-guessing his needs or making him happy.

Unfortunately, this difficult dynamic can also lead to one-sided marriages.

No one wants to question their value in a relationship. But if your man does not care about your well-being, then this may be your daily norm.

The relationship can quickly turn toxic and you may feel dissatisfied and depressed.

But how do you know you are in this type of marriage? These are the main signs that your man doesn't value you.

19 Signs Your Husband Doesn't Like You

Sometimes it's not always obvious to know if your man doesn't like you. You might even wonder if you're overreacting or investigating things that don't exist.

This can be even more pronounced when you are struggling with inherently low self-esteem or when you two are going through a rough patch.

That said, in a healthy and happy marriage, you shouldn't question your spouse's motives.

You shouldn't wonder if your man cares for you; Of course, he will make an effort to invest in the relationship and respect your needs.

But if several of the following signs are true, it's time to pay attention. If you have an ungrateful husband, you may continue to have marital problems.

Let's get into what you need to know.

He always points out your mistakes.

It's one thing to occasionally challenge your partner when they've hurt you.

In a healthy marriage, partners can talk honestly with each other, even when things seem difficult.

But if your man constantly makes you feel inferior (or a complete failure), that's a red flag. It means he doesn't really respect you.

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If he always finds something wrong, it also means he probably feels superior to you.

In the long run, this tends to create a dynamic where you feel like you always have to be "perfect" in order to gain their approval.

There is no such thing as physical intimacy (or it's all about sex)

Every couple has their own unique way of being intimate with each other.

How often do you hold both hands, hug or just kiss when you go to work?

Does he offer affection regularly? Does he seem to enjoy being physically close to you?

If it seems you don't value physical intimacy, chances are you don't value emotional intimacy either.

He may even refuse to be intimate to make you anxious or unattractive.

Likewise, sex is a way of expressing love, but if that's the caseonlyThe way he wants to contact you could be cause for concern.

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It is possible that he is only interested in his own pleasure rather than connecting with you.

Most happy couples guessmake loveas part of your sex life. If things seem purely mechanical, he might not be trying to connect with you.

Pay close attention to other women.

Marriage is all about respect, and respect usually means trusting that your partner doesn't have wandering eyes (or hands).

So if your man always seems interested in other women, that's a red flag.

Either he's trying to make you jealous or he doesn't care what you think. None of these situations are ideal for a healthy marriage!

He seems to enjoy it when women flirt with him.

As mentioned above, if he's paying extra attention to other women, it's definitely a red flag. But also disrespectful husbandsamarif peopleflirt with them.

It boosts their ego and makes them feel special and important.

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These husbands can also get emotional when they see you jealous.

They want you to believe they are of great value and for you to assume they are the best you will ever get.

He treats other people better than he treats you.

Do you forget your birthday but always send a card to your mother or sister?

Does he yell at you at home just to put on a cute, charismatic face for everyone else?

In other words, is your behavior dramatically different from your behavior compared to others?

In a healthy marriage, you should be your number one priority.

He must treat you with kindness, patience and respect - these are some of the basic principles that accompany such a serious commitment.

But if you feel like you're being the worst behaved ever, it's because he's taking you and your relationship for granted.

he never compliments you

Does he know when you cut your hair or put on a new dress? Does he go out of his way to praise you?Just because?

Research shows that compliments help people feel loved and connected in relationships. Hetrue complimentit can also do wonders for your self-esteem.

When you care about someone, you want them to know how special and important they are to you. In this environment, compliments often come effortlessly.

If he never compliments you, it probably means he doesn't think highly of you. Or maybe he just isn't paying much attention to you, and that's not a good sign either!

You forget important appointments

Nobody is perfect, but if you keep forgetting about birthdays, anniversaries or other special dates, it means that you don't prioritize them.

In a way, that means he doesn't prioritize you or care about celebrating your time together. This is cause for concern.

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In addition, a husband who does not value you will even forget important dates.afteryou remember him

For example, let's say the two of you are going to a wedding this weekend. You can comfortably forget about it until this morning.

Then he might even get annoyed and insist that you never told him.

This dynamic puts you in a constant position where you feel like you owe him an apology and not the other way around.

It's a form of gaslighting and can make you feel incredibly unappreciated.

always seems upset

Life can be stressful and we all get upset sometimes. But home must be a safe place, andOfIt should be a confident person that you feel comfortable with.

So if he always seems pissed off at you, it probably means he's pissed off at you or the marriage in general.

Remember that his sour attitude is not your fault.

If he doesn't want to say how he feels (or if he just wants to blame you), it means he really doesn't like you.

He just wants to make you look like a bad person.

Stop asking questions about your day (or your life).

Think about how most relationships develop in the early stages of dating.

You two can't stop talking: there's an insatiable need to know every detail of each other's lives.

Of course, this novelty wears off over time. But in a healthy marriage, you care enough to be present in each other's lives.

You pay attention to details and ask thoughtful questions to better understand your partner.

So what happens when your husband just stops asking these questions? If it's a consistent pattern, you mean it.It doesn't matterabout you.

Either you are focusing on yourself or you are focusing on someone else.

He's not talking about their future together.

When someone really cares about you, they are more than happy to plan the future with you.

They openly talk about upcoming vacations, plans or dreams. And in these visionsthey arealways included.

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So be careful if you don't (or stop) talking about what's in store for the two of you.

It could mean that he's only thinking about himself, or that he's planning a future without you!

He often takes and rarely gives

Does your husband get mean or annoying when he has to do something for you? Is it useless if he gives you gifts or helps you with a certain favor?

If your man doesn't like you, he won't have much incentive to meet your needs. Instead, he just focuses on what he wants.

As such, they will generally have no problem asking for help or attention constantly. Sometimes it seems like you would do anything for him, and that's because you probably do!

of course if hegesture of disapprovalGiving him something, he will most likely make a big fuss about it. He will pretend to be the best husband in the world and may even boast of his generosity towards others.

He doesn't do what you ask.

Some guys seem nice but are actually defiant or lazy when it comes to getting things done.

Do you always feel like your man is just talking without really following through? A selfish or absent husband may say what you want to hear.

But when it comes to acting, he disappears or is disappointed.

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As a result, you're stuck and feel like you can't count on him. This pattern undoubtedly inspires resentment.

It also makes you feel like the mother of the relationship, and that doesn't attract anyone!

you are never the first

Do you feel that the opinions or needs of others take precedence over your own? Is your husband more willing to help a complete stranger than support you?

Are you looking forward to spending time with your friends or family, only to pretend that spending time with you is a chore?

While it's normal for healthy couples to value a life of their own, partners must agree on a core value: the other is above all others.

When this doesn't happen, you may feel unappreciated, confused, or even unimportant.

Over time, these feelings can erode the satisfaction you feel in your relationship.

he doesn't miss you

What happens when the two of you spend time apart? Is he letting you know how much he misses you? Or does he just look relieved to have escaped?

Clingy behavior can be a serious sign of insecurity or controlling behavior. but if he isNeverclingy or emotional when you're away can also be problematic.

This could mean that he doesn't really feel connected to you. Or he's just so used to having you around that he doesn't really appreciate who you are or what you're offering him.

It is becoming more and more selfish.

Maybe he valued you early on in your relationship. But over time, his compassion waned.

He's not as patient or interested anymore. It fits more easily. You can feel the change, even if you can't explain why.

If that's the case, it could mean that your marriage is in trouble. your husband can befell in love, or may be involved with someone else.

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However, increasingly selfish behavior usually indicates that he doesn't like you like he used to.

He puts you down in front of others.

It goes without saying that badmouthing of any kind should be inexcusable. But what if he does it in front of others?

Above all, it means that he does not care about your well-being. Even worse, he might be actively trying to put you down in front of others.

Men who do this tend to be abusive, narcissistic, or downright selfish. Either way, it's a serious red flag in any relationship.

Does not include you in the plans.

An indifferent husband will not go out of his way to spend time with you.

However, she will do anything to date him.someone else.You'll also have plenty of time for housework, hobbies, or any other passion that piques your interest.

Unfortunately, this dynamic can make either partner feel insecure or jealous.

It might even make you feel like you're asking too much, when all you really want is a night together.

he bricks you

stone wallsIt refers to the total stop in moments of tension.

A Stonewaller may stop talking (or use minimal words) or leave the room during combat. This makes the other person feel helpless and afraid.

If your husband is a Stonewaller, you already know how frustrating the behavior can be. This probably makes him even angrier during conflicts.

Likewise, he can make you walk on eggshells around him, and that doesn't help either.

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You just can't make him happy

No matter how hard you try, your efforts just aren't good enough.

He is always demanding, asks for more, puts you down or rejects you. The more you try, the more withdrawn or cruel he becomes.

It's disheartening, but it's also a symptom of a much bigger problem.

Yes you canNevermaking someone happy means that person is not really interested in being happylike you.

How do I make my husband see my worth? (And should you?)

If you detected the problem, congratulations! You've identified a challenging pattern in your life, and you're now taking the initiative to do your part to make things better.

Here are some tips to keep in mind.

value yourself

If you want to feel valued in your marriage, the first part of change starts with yourself. Are you taking good care of your needs?

How kindly do you speak to yourself? you see yourself ashigh quality person?

Appreciating yourself starts with self-compassion. According to psychologist and researcherdra Kristin NeffSelf-compassion means protecting yourself, caring for yourself, and motivating yourself.

When you are faced with stress, it means that you are trying to meet your needs as best you can.

The more you can give yourself this gift, the better you can appreciate it.Otherswho thinks highly of you.

it seems like a gift

Your husband is a capable adult and it's not your job to just serve him. How often do you give in to their demands just to avoid a fight?

Or when you try to please him to keep him happy and protect yourself?

Try to let go of the expectation that you have to do everything in your marriage. Not you. In a healthy relationship, there is a mutual give and take.

If you just give and he just takes, you set yourself up for constant frustration.

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Get busy and more unavailable

This is consistent with abandoning all giving behaviors. It is important that you build your own identity and life outside of marriage.

This has two purposes. First, it establishes you as your own person with your own needs and desires.

Second, it can show your man that you aren't always there for his needs.

Paradoxically, it may be your absence (and a slight withdrawal) that makes him want you more.

say no more often

It's okay to say no to things that no longer serve you. Perhaps you no longer want to do all the housework.

Maybe you're tired of giving in to your man's sexual desires when he's really not in the mood.

The way he reacts will give you insight into his true thoughts about you.

Does he respect you if you say no? Or is he putting pressure on you, making you feel guilty, or trying to make you feel bad?

If this is the case, you have clear evidence that he doesn't value you or your needs.

Get your own support

No matter how your man treats you, you deserve to feel respected. Unfortunately, an unhappy marriage can leave you feeling alone and confused.

Therefore, seeking external support is essential. Reach out to friends, family, or other loved ones during this time.

Make sure these people are not your husband's close relatives; You don't want to question them by repeating what you say.

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If you feel like you don't have a support group, therapy can help. Therapists provide confidential, safe spaces to process your feelings.

Your therapist can also teach you valuable coping skills for dealing with stressful situations.

What to do if your husband doesn't like you

It's frustrating to feel like you're doing all the work in a marriage.

It's also painful to wonder if your spouse, the person closest to you, cares about you.

But if your husband doesn't like you, it's time to seriously reassess the state of your marriage.

If you don't, you risk things getting progressively worse. Here are some important steps to consider.

assess the situation

Ask yourself: is this behavior chronic and persistent or is it recent? If it's the former, it probably means it's more ingrained in your personality.

In other words, it probably won't get better. He's been treating you this way for a long time and changing that will likely require extreme measures.

But if his behavior is recent, it could be more situational. Have you been under more stress lately?

Are you two going through any new changes right now? Were you more distant, moody or unhappy with him?

Asking yourself these questions and answering them honestly can help you better decode the situation.

Only you can decide whether a better marriage is worth fighting for.

tell him what bothers you

Your man might not really be aware of how his behavior affects you.

This is likely true if the behavior is recent or stress-induced. He might take your patience for granted.

Regardless of the situation, it's important to keep an open mind. Describe in detail the issue at hand and let him know how you feel.

For example, you could sayI felt really hurt when you forgot my birthday. I just wanted confirmation. Instead, I felt like I didn't matter, and that was painful.

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don't react

As tempting as it may be, don't try to accommodate your man's childish behavior.

For example, if he treats you with silence, don't try to make it a competition. If he's kidding, don't start criticizing him.

Retaliation only perpetuates harmful communication cycles. As you work to make your marriage work, you must be willing to model healthy behaviors.

In many ways, this means acting like a bigger person. Talk to him and act the way you'd like to be treated in return, even if it seems unfair.

set your limits

Have you set boundaries on what is and is not acceptable behavior?

Otherwise, you may be facilitating problematic patterns or maintaining a codependent cycle with each other.

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Boundaries refer to the boundaries you set for yourself or someone else. They can be physical, emotional, financial or spiritual.

Setting boundaries requires clear communication. Don't assume your husband can read your mind, and don't be shallow in describing what you want.

Ideally, borders should be flexible (meaning you can customize and change them as needed).

However, some of them must also be rigid and non-negotiable.

Some potentially non-negotiable limits could be:

• without attribution
• Don't criticize yourself in front of others.
• Do not shout or raise your voice.
• There are no empty threats
• No passive-aggressive comments
• no physical abuse

Setting boundaries is only part of the equation when it comes to a loving relationship.

You have to be prepared for this.implementConsequences when your husband crosses the line. If you don't, they won't get the message that you're serious.

So before giving him specific boundaries, think about what you will do if he doesn't listen.

talk about couples therapy

Failed marriages are often the result of stagnation along with resentment.

If you don't feel supported by your husband, it may be time to seek professional help.couple therapyit can help you communicate better and assert your needs more effectively.

Remember that a husband who doesn't like you can resist couples therapy.

You can excuse yourself or dismiss the idea of ​​sharing your feelings with a professional. Or they might agree to attend, only to spend most of the session blaming you.

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If that's the case, it's even more important to reconsider your goals in the relationship.

Marriage takes work: if he's not willing to put in the effort, it might be unrealistic to expect things to get better.

To leave

It may seem like a daunting decision, but sometimes the best solution is to leave the marriage altogether.

If you have been thinking about separating or getting divorced for a long time, think about itWhyyou keep questioning

It is important that you feel valued in your home. But if you're always walking on eggshells, second-guessing yourself, feeling wronged or cheated, these problems may not go away on their own.

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In fact, they can deteriorate over time.

Think about it: would you rather have an unhappy marriage or an unhappy divorce?

Instead of constantly feeling disrespected, are you ready or giving yourself a chance to start over?